30 July 2008

Possibly the Worst Film...EVER!!!!!

Infamous drunkard and tabloid darling Lindsay Lohan returns to DVD libraries across the country in I Know Who Killed Me. Unfortunately, I can't tell you much about the film itself because I only made it through about 5 minutes before I started skipping forward to the scenes where she is either pole-dancing or bleeding.

And believe me, there are plenty of both. Sadly, as gratuitous and engrossing as both those highlights sound, they are nowhere near being able to save this film from the indignity of being possibly the worst film of all time. I haven't heard a single positive thing being said about it, anywhere, but we will have it in the library so you can judge for yourselves....if you so desire.
The film won Li-Lo three Razzies, how is that possible you say? Well, she tied with herself for the Worst Actress award (she plays two characters in the film) and managed to win Worst Screen Couple (for playing the same two characters). This surely equals Eddie Murphy's effort with Norbit, which reportedly cost him a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Dreamgirls, but won him three Razzies for Worst Actor, Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Actress. If you're gonna fail, I say fail spectacularly. And he did.

I Know Who Killed Me also won Worst Director, Worst Excuse For A Horror Movie, Worst Picture, Worst Remake or Rip-off, and Worst Screenplay. That's quite a haul!!! This picture of Lindsay bleeding might make you feel better.
Let us know what you think the worst movie of all time is, then watch this and see if your opinion changes.

59 comments:

Stephen said...

Manos, The Hand Of Fate

Phil Willis said...

How can you say possibly worst film ever if you admitted in the first sentence to not watching it?

Do you get paid to review films? And you pan them? And you don't watch them?

Dang - I need to get me one of them jobs!

Anonymous said...

Until you've seen Chicken Park you haven't seen the worst film ever.

Simon said...

three words people.
The.
Wicker.
Man.
Nicholas Cage - "killing me won't bring back your damn honey!"

Anonymous said...

Employee of the Month. WORST FILM EVER. Jessica Simpson should stick to looking pretty.

Anonymous said...

I watched this film and it really wasn't the worst film ever, unlike you I watched the whole film and the plot was actually ok I think critics are some what you could say too quick to judge if hollywood doesn't like it then you don't or I should say can't be seen to like it. Some of the movies they hail as the best movies ever are actully some of the worst in a normal everyday persons eyes.

Anonymous said...

Actually 'Black Hawk Down' was the worst film ever. i enjoyed watching the carpeted wall in the movie cinema more than i did that load of crap.

Anonymous said...

"Actually 'Black Hawk Down' was the worst film ever. i enjoyed watching the carpeted wall in the movie cinema more than i did that load of crap."

bwahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Well obviously I have the worst taste in movies ever because nobody has mentioned "Laser Mission" starring Brandon Lee.
Watch it if you dare...

Anonymous said...

Well obviously I have the worst taste in movies ever because nobody has mentioned "Laser Mission" starring Brandon Lee.
Watch it if you dare...

You may be right, check out the trailer!:

http://www.quickflix.com.au/public/tools/viewmovie/LaserMission/29388.aspx?CatalogueFunction=2&ListID=0&Tab=Trailers

chris said...

Blue Lagoon was pretty bad, Brooke Sheilds won a razz for worst actress. However, from all reports the new Get Smart is a stinker of some proportion.

Anonymous said...

''No Country for old men' wins worst movie for me. I wanted someone to shoot me so i wouldn't have to watch anymore.......

pete said...

Yep. Laser mission is pretty damn naff. But for my money; mind ripper, a.k.a the outpost, is an absolute steamer. Give it a go just for lance henriksen's rope ladder acting. Not even he can escape this cinematic atrocity.

Anonymous said...

If you've never seen Submerged with Steven Seagal then you have never seen the worst film ever, not even close. I'm a fan of Steven Seagal movies, and I stayed with it for the entire length. OMG!!! I want my 2 hours of life back!!!

Anonymous said...

Did nobody see "Daddy Day Camp"?

Steve said...

Chicago with Richard Gere is the only movie I have ever walked out on. It stunk.

Barbara said...

You cannot have seen Killer Tomatoes...nothing could ever be as bad as this.

Anonymous said...

I haven't yet seen I Know Who Killed Me, but I think one of the worst films ever was another Lindsay Lohan movie, Just My Luck, followed closely by the Tom Hanks film Castaway. That's a few hours of my life I'm never getting back right there with those two!!

Anonymous said...

Beowulf.

Hollywood owes me 2 hours and $15 for that one.

Anonymous said...

For me, it's got to be Mulholland Drive. What a load of self-indulgent w#nk. I'm normally a fan which is why I stayed with it to the end but boy it sucked bigtime.

Simon said...

whoa whoa whoa. mulholland drive is a classic. a perfect classic. lets save the venom for the real rubbish people. like Jumper.

you know whats more interesting than the movie jumper? just looking at a regular jumper (or sweater if you're from overseas)

scrappincraft said...

I actually really enjoyed this movie. Anything where Lindsay Lohan get dismembered HAS to be good! But no.. seriously, enjoyed the whole thing. Wasn't tempted to turn off or fast forward even once. Remember that old saying... you can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.
I'm "some" of the people who liked this movie :)

Morgan said...

I'm glad someone agrees that mulholland drive was awful. There's a difference between not giving everything away (Donnie Darko) and self-indulgent tripe (Mullholland). Two and a half hours of directorial self gratification.

On the other hand, worst film has to go to either The New World, or Son of Blob (which falls easily in the 'so bad it's funny' genre).

Anonymous said...

Seriously,

INDEPENDENCE DAY - worst load of American patriotic garbage spliced together from ideas stolen from other movies that I have EVER seen - yeah the LIMITED special effects were ok, but hey... try thinking ORIGINAL next time.... I had a headache for WEEKS after seeing that movie!

Andrew said...

I have to say Lion for Lambs should be considered one as the worst film ever.

First time I actually fell asleep in a movie

Walter said...

Mulholland Drive is a masterpiece - bad movies? Try every Adam Sandler movie, most Nicholas Cage movies, actually 90% of the movies of the past 5 years are unwatchable dross

Tim said...

How is it that no one has mentioned Zoolander? I paid to see that in Gold Class on a public holiday to add insult to injury. Ben Stiller has a lot to answer for.

Anonymous said...

Surely none of these are as bad as Plan 9 From Outer Space?

Jenny said...

Beowulf..wait for it...in 3D.

Anonymous said...

How could you possibly talk about "Worst Film Ever" without referring to Bewitched!

Tanni said...

I have to agree with Beowolf, i usually love anything that's somewhat mythical but this really stunk.

I also have to agree with Jumper, i was so disappointed.

Another one to add to the list is The Golden Compass, big thumbs down!

Anonymous said...

I would have to say that one of the most boring movies I have seen of late was "Brokeback Mountain". I don't have any issues with "gay films" I just found it extremely boring!

Anonymous said...

Perfect hideout with Billy Zane.
Shocker

Anonymous said...

'Swept Away' with Madonna (suffice to say not Guy Ritchie's finest film offering) - I had to Google it cause I'd succeeded at putting the worst film I ever saw out of my mind - and I see it got 7 razzies... a real stinker!

roodog1 said...

I haven't seen LiLo's film, but just for her to do something when she's not smacked off her face is a plus. She has to start at the bottom again, right? Well, from most of these comments, she's there. Again. Poor kid.

Yillup said...

Chicken Park. Chicken Park is BAD. I watched it at my 16th birthday party with people who'd usually laugh through this type of film. We stuck it out for a while but gave up. maybe when they were frying eggs on some woman's body?

Anonymous said...

Wot about that pathetic movie that starred Woody Harrelson, he played that Porn king in a wheelchair!!! So bad I can't even remember the name of the movie!!!!!!!!

mellie said...

I thought Black Hawk Down was great personally...

The Mask and his son is a terrible sequel to the mask. Don't ever bother watching it...

Anonymous said...

MONKEYBONE - worst movie ever!! and that was wen we were at highschool!!!

Jayne said...

Am embarassed to admit that the worst film ever is a film about Gilbert & Sullivan...can't even remember the name of the film. I kept sitting there thinking 'this has to get better'! I lost 3 hours of my life to that pie of self indulgence!

Anonymous said...

El Topo was worse. Trust me.

Anonymous said...

Anything Mike Meyers does is utter shite.

la_544 said...

The Wicker Man was terrible. Going Overboard with Adam Sandler and Teeth. Watch them all!

Yazzy said...

Well I LOVED Norbit! I reckon it was helarious!!!
Although I seem to like movies that get bad reviews. Im in love with "Because I said so"
Actually a lot of the movies mentioned here as bad ones are some of my faves! Go figure!

Chrissy said...

Ok its a toss up between 'Donnie Darko' and 'Requiem for a Dream'.
Both movies were a complete waste of time and Im glad I didnt actually have to pay MONEY to see them because I would have surely demanded my money back.

Another disappointment was 'Gabriel' man, what a pile of crap that was. We almost walked out of the cinema that day TO demand our money back!!!!

katiger said...

Little Man is easily the worst movie ever.

Harry said...

No, no people. You haven't seen 'Inland Empire' by David Lynch. 3 hours of agony...it turned me off Lynch forever.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with Simon. The Wicker Man was the WORST!!!!

DVDman said...

I have to agree with Harry. I am normally a David Lynch fan, and I think he has been an innovator and visionary for many years, but Inland Empire left me dazed and confused (and not in a good way). I had no idea what was going on, and left after 2 hours, only 2/3 through. Watch this at your peril.

Simon said...

i may never be able to fully explain the sadness i feel when a post about an awful li-lo movie has become a lynch-bagging extravaganza. what have we become!

Anonymous said...

I only ever really snored in one movie and that was Prospero's Books

Mikel Ward said...

Star Wars Episode 1, closely followed by anything made by Stanley Kubrick.

Thankfully I haven't seen many of the other movies suggested here.

Anonymous said...

"Neophytes and Neon Lights" - thankfully Shane T. Hall doesn't seem to have been able to get funding to inflict his oeuvre on a wider audience.

Anonymous said...

THE WORST MOVIE IS CLOVERFIELD THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BORING AND THE OTHER STUPID MOVIE WAS THREE. WHERE DO THEY GET THE MONEY TO DO STUPID MOVIES.GIVE THE MONEY TO SOME ONE WHO REALLY NEEDS IT!!!!

ph said...

I have 3 new (but old) films to ad: "Ishtar", "Meet Joe Black" and "Mission to Mars". Three different shades of shite.

Anonymous said...

I would have to say The Postman

Carolyn said...

After reaading all you guys have said I'm definitely knocking Wicker Man off my queue, haha! It is hilarious reading what everyone is saying about their worst movies ever. Maybe we should have a Quickflix razzies award where all us Quickflix members can vote on the worst movies ever?? :-)

Anonymous said...

Silent... Hill... That film is beyond bad. I swear the first thirty minutes are just the mother screaming her daughters name. The only reason I didn't walk out of this movie was because I was praying it would get better... I have never been so happy to see end credits in my life. I would rather gouge my own eyes out than watch this pice of excrement again... and that's putting it mildly

Anonymous said...

Some of the comments amaze me! Wicker Man - disappointing yes but I'd call it average. Worst film ever? Probably something I didn't bother to pick up.

The worst that I actually sat through is probably "Swamp thing."